Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning international writer and broadcaster. Lemn Sissay. It maybe shapes certain aspects of your character and your attitude to life, says Tom Riordan of the experience of being in care. He thrives on praise and affection, in fact he cannot do without it. Social workers report, I hadnt realised I wasnt a happy child. In care from 11 to 17, Ben Ashcroft moved 51 times between foster parents, residential care, secure units, secure training centre, and finally a young offenders unit. Thats the number of times he was relocated between 11, when he and his brother were abandoned by their mother, and 17, when he decided he had to pull himself together. Social services placed the baby Lemn into long-term foster care, advising the foster family to treat this as adoption. Reconnecting with her birth family in Eritrea in her late 20s allowed me to realise the multiplicities of who I am, to make connections around inter-country adoption, and the idea that you can belong in multiple places and with multiple families. But dont be fooled, she says. In two months time they would send me away forever as if I were a stranger. Poet Lemn Sissay, who said he was abused at Wood End as a child, returned there for a 1995 documentary . He holds an English nationality and belongs to Black ethnicity. I was 10 and we were off to a wedding in our new clothes. She was taken into a mother and baby unit as a 12-year-old mum, and had to fight to keep her daughter. I had no pictures, no photographs. Axa Hynes, right, with her foster sister Michelle Brown, also featured in the Foundling Museum photograph. My parents were amazing, but their colour-blind approach wasnt representative of societys view of me., There are at least two kinds of narratives about being in care, says Sylvan Baker. Thats all I knew. Of course I loved them. He was British and Ethiopian. Why would the social worker, Jean Jones, say that my mum and dad are seen by Norman as his parents? Why - and the search for the answer to why - became the word that defined Lemn . Raising a joyous toast to the forgotten and the forgettable, Sissay recognizes the power we give to what we pay attention to and invites us to look anew at all that has been undervalued. You dont love us, you dont want to be with us? All of this happened the day after they had made this call to the social worker. Insomuch as the foster child is a cipher to the dysfunction of a family and also a seer. Through my lived experience of being adopted, I co-founded a mental-health organisation called Adoptee Futures, which is led by adoptees and which centres adoptees. Photo-Greenbelt Over the weekend, black British author, poet and playwright Lemn Sissay did his nation and the black community proud by picking up the very prestigious 2019 Pen. In junior school, he proudly announced that he was adopted and half-Pakistani. He spent his childhood moving between different carers after his mother was killed by his father in 1966. They were religious, and theyd never had [to deal with] an adolescent before. This is an edited extract from My Name Is Why: a Memoir by Lemn Sissay, published by Canongate on 29 August at 16.99. If they were asking me whether I loved them or not, and if they were the ones who taught me about love, then maybe I didnt love them, otherwise they wouldnt ask. Mrs Greenwood does not think of the boy as a foster child. Instead of celebrating success despite the odds, we urgently need to improve the odds.. His Landmark poems are visible in London, Manchester, Huddersfield and Addis Ababa. If I told someone I was in care, their handbag would move to the other side, jokes Luis De Abreu, who made his escape through acting and is now principal of the dance and music theatre conservatoire he joined after dropping out of school at 15. Today we stand proud as care leavers and remove societys stigma. Brown defied expectations by progressing to university and getting a Masters. I was the eldest. He recalled his days growing up in Leigh, near Atherton where he was the only black in the village and his time walking the streets of Daubhill selling cleaning products door to door. Postscript: After Woodfields, Lemn Sissay was sent to two more childrens homes. The way I see it, this should be something for people who are going through the system. She is now a psychodynamic psychotherapist and the director of two companies. For more information about the Foundling Museum in London see foundlingmuseum.org.uk. Thered be many times in the future that I would play table tennis with myself by pushing the table against the wall. It was actually seeing Lemn [Sissay] perform that helped me realise that you could talk about it. I asked when my clothes and toys would be arriving. I looked back, but they were turning to go indoors, mindful of the neighbours. Here are a few organisations for support and information: Become has been supporting and campaigning for children in care and young care leavers since 1985. This is Lemn's story, a story of neglect and determination . LEMN SISSAY MBE is a BAFTA nominated International prize winning writer. Yet in 1980, at the age of 12, young Norman was abruptly expelled from his white . Just before leaving the house, Mum looked at me. Pete Turner was adopted at five months and grew up in Bury in a very liberal family that loved me, he says. Read the scriptures and give us your most honest and truthful answer tomorrow.. She left home at 16 after coming out as gay an experience depicted in her 2011 memoir, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? Mr Sissay, who grew up in the care system, shared his concerns after a report, published by the. A poem by Lemn Sissay. These moments stuck in my memory. Mum smelled like mums smell; there must be a smell a child is attuned to from being a baby, a cross between baby powder and witch hazel. Interviews by Killian Fox, I once was Christopher Goldsmith, reads a poem, neatly typed out on one side of a piece of A4 paper. None of this is your fault. He loved his parents, he says, but at the time there were no black kids around. One of the best things [foster care] has given me is the knowledge that it doesnt need to be a totally typical family setup to work, he says. He reflected how he had since forgiven his foster parents, saying they did the best they could and he had also received apologies from Wigan Council. Gilt of Cain by Michael Visocchi & Lemn Sissay This powerful sculpture was unveiled by the Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Mpilo Tutu on 4 th September 2008. My name, my brother . I was born in the era of forcible adoption my mother was coerced into giving me up, says Louise Wallwein. Best known for designing clothes for Diana, Princess of Wales, Bruce Oldfield was born in Durham and fostered at 18 months by a seamstress, Violet Masters, who taught him how to sew. These experiences have shaped who I am today, an independent woman, passionate about my career and working with local authorities in Greater Manchester to ensure every young person has a voice, choice and control over decisions made about them., Psychodynamic psychotherapist and director of Integrated Minds and Artists on the Couch. Ive had experiences with homelessness, she says, and its something that disproportionately affects people who are leaving foster care. Lemn means 'why' in Amharic, the official language of Ethiopia, where celebrated poet Lemn Sissay's mother was from. My body will skip around the table like a sprite on the solid stone floor. 4 October 1979: The Greenwoods are seen by Norman as his parents, and they and their natural children meet his needs in every way. Social workers report. Im getting to exorcise lots of demons., Now writing a memoir about her journey from care to Cambridge University, by day Kasmira Kincaid works as a fundraiser for Shelter. Im 12. The lecture was the latest in a series of Arts and Science presentations which are taking place at the School in the evenings and are open to the general public. And then Lemn spoke elegantly and measuredly as he delivered a cathartic unburdening of his formative years. Lemn was the first person I saw on stage talking about being care-experienced and it blew my mind, says comedian, actor and writer Sophie Willan, best known as the creator and star of Bafta-winning BBC Two series Almas Not Normal. That was strange for a while. His parents, unaccustomed to dealing with a young man, said he had the devil inside him and had him put in a childrens home. Now my foster mother sends me birthday cards. Poet Lemn Sissay says he felt obliged to accept his OBE because the award honours his younger self who overcame a "dehumanising" time in care. Over the past few years I sensed I had done something wrong and yet didnt know what it was. Lemn Sissay reads from his new collection, Gold From the Stone, at Musicport festival in Whitby, 21-23 October, The poet talks about how his foster parents put him into care at the age of 12 and left him there, and finding his birth mother, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, Lemn Sissay They treated me as if I was a Trojan horse sent into the family to destroy it., Lemn Sissay: My foster parents were good people who did bad things. Jenny Bagchi spent time in foster care and unregulated settings as a teenager before experiencing an abrupt end to care at 16. Later, while piecing together his origins, he discovered that his mother had pleaded for his return and been denied by social services. They wanted their children to be educated and go to university. And thats all right, but thats the deal. She looked at me as if I had wounded her. I am not defined by my scars but by the incredible ability to heal. When Luis De Abreu was nine, he travelled from Madeira to join his mother in Jersey, where shed been working for several years. At the age of seventeen, after a childhood in a foster family followed by six years in care homes, Norman Greenwood was given his birth certificate. He left school at 15 with one GCSE and two CSEs. At 12, Norman was sent away to childrens homes. Its listening to care-experienced young people Ive been working with that has empowered me to talk openly about it., Donna Ludford applied to become lord mayor of the City of Manchester to raise aspirations for young people in the care system. That was it! Interspersing readings from his new collection Gold from the Stone with moving and raw recollections of his childhood, Lemn transfixed the audience. I was causing problems for everyone. It was a taxing legal process that ended three years later, in 2015, with an out-of-court settlement. The Care Leavers Association is a national user-led charity aimed at improving the lives of care leavers of all ages. The internationally acclaimed poet and playwright Lemn Sissay OBE shares the story of his life by recalling five memorable dishes. Why would I think anything else? Sissay reflects on his childhood, self-expression and Britishness, and in doing so explores the institutional care system, race, family and the meaning of home. His mother couldn't cope with him and his brother so they were put into the care of . He was British and Ethiopian, and he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe return to her since his birth. Akabusi joined the British army aged 16 and later embarked on a glittering athletics career as a sprinter and hurdler. Natalie Hirst, right, with a girl she met while visiting her grandmother at her caravan site. I said to Norman Mills in the car: I know this is my fault and I will ask God for forgiveness. He kept his eyes on the road, but his hands gripped tighter on the wheel. Lemn Sissay is a poet, author and broadcaster who was the official poet of the London Olympics in 2012. Its difficult to build a relationship with a mother. It was amazing to be seen, says Olumide Popoola about some of the social workers who helped her through care in Germany. But there is no moment of revelation in this story where everybody hugs. The world of Lemn Sissay Home Tag Archives: christophergreenwood Mercy Mercy Mercy Mercy Posted on March 2, 2013 by Lemn Sissay 8 Every Ethiopian, Eritrean, American and European who has any interest in race, identity, loss, storytelling, psychology, childhood, religion, nationhood, documentary making, or intercontinental Read more [.] Wallwein, who received an MBE in 2018 for services to spoken word poetry, had been in 13 homes before writing her first play at 17. The Greenwoods were strict Baptists and their foster child's high spirits appeared to wear them down. Poet Lemn Sissay and actress Lisa Faulkner became friends on Twitter, united by one common interest: children in the British care system. I was nine. This is what I have chosen. He has been made an Honorary Doctor by the universities of Manchester, Kent, Huddersfield and Brunel. This was the beginning of the end of open arms and warm hugs. During this time, no care worker knew him for beyond a year and meanwhile he had lost his parents, his siblings and other family, his friends, his first girlfriend, his town and his identity. Because its not just my story, its the story of the people that have been kind enough to reconnect with me and the people that were selfless enough to bring me up. My experience was a horror story, but it wasnt so bad in other ways, says Barrie Sharpe. I just have to keep mentally strong and reverse those doubts., Participation and projects lead at Pure Insight and business owner, Natalie Hirst spent eight years living in foster care in Greater Manchester and had a mixed experience, but her resilience helped her to develop the strength and skills to overcome many challenges. Birthdays, Christmas, weekends, holidays I have to be the best family that I can be, to myself. These are social graces that help us to move on.. He has authored collections of poetry and plays and his memoir My Name Is Why was a number one Sunday Times bestseller. Theres a sort of stoicism, he says, of how the experience shaped him. Mum told me they will never visit me because it is my choice to leave them because I didnt love them. Lemn Sissay MBE is a British author and broadcaster. He was badly bullied at school and his education suffered terribly, but he soldiered on and enrolled at Bird College aged 22 to study dance and musical theatre. Lemn Sissay is a BAFTA-nominated, award-winning writer and broadcaster. None of us have ever gone back to look for our birth families. But his writing tells a subtly different story: And so, nearly half a century later/ nearer to the end of the journey/ than the beginning,/ those questions arise/ and may remain unanswered/ but arise anyway.. The last entry is his letter requesting to see them, at 18. We were very secure in our upbringing. But he did accidentally come across his birth name: Christopher Goldsmith. This was the beginning of empty Christmas time and hollow birthdays. Sheen has made a documentary about her experience, a powerful study of cultural displacement and linguistic disenfranchisement called Abandoned Adopted Here. 4.15. On the back another poem is handwritten, composed on the train into London this morning, fresh on the page. My care experience was both traumatic and enlightening, says Johanan Walker, who went into care in east London after she had a baby at 12. I had nothing to put in the locker by my bed. Secrets are the stonesThat sink the boatTake them out, look at themThrow them out and float. 31 December 1979: Message left after Christmas saying that the Greenwoods wanted Norman removed without further notice. Social workers report, 31 December 1979: Spoke to foster parents on telephone. There are many strings to the bow of Lemn Sissay OBE. In the Baptist church, our church, we were taught to question why. Its about thriving in life and doing what makes you happy., Zarina Bhimji was taken into a childrens home at 14, then a foster family. Mr Sissay detailed his experiences in the British care system in his autobiography of his early life - My Name Is Why. Audio CD. Although its going to take time to shift the stigma and change the system, I believe it will happen.. When he was four, Kriss Akabusis parents returned to Nigeria, leaving him alone in the UK with his younger brother. And in the Baptist faith a sinner must ask forgiveness for his sins. This was the beginning of not being touched. Lemn Sissay, writer and Chancellor of the University of Manchester, held the Great Hall of Bolton School Girls Division mesmerised during an emotional rollercoaster of an evening. Poet Lemn Sissay says he felt obliged to accept his OBE because the award honours his younger self who overcame a "dehumanising" time in care. I showed my love for him by punching him. Ive loved mussels ever since. Which is interesting, because I always saw myself as white. The abuse was confusing, he says, but Im quite stubborn. Sometimes, if youve had my childhood, you try not to be defined by it, he says. We want you to spend the next day thinking about love and what it is. I was always falling uphill, he says. I dont believe an adopted baby gets any less love from their parents than a child naturally born to them. The memoir was warmly received, though Jenkins, who edits Observer Food Monthly, has mixed feelings about becoming a figurehead for care-experienced people. The project is the brainchild of poet and activist Lemn Sissay, himself a graduate of the system, who wanted to create an image of successful lives as an inspiration for the many thousands of children struggling in care today. There are a lot of big emotions flying around the room. My brother Christopher is a year younger than me and I really loved him when I was a kid. Ripped away from his Ethiopian mother in infancy, he endured over a decade of mistreatment and wilful cruelty in the British care system. 19 April 1978: There is a letter on file from Normans mother, written in 1968, requesting he be returned to her in Ethiopia perhaps Norman should be made aware of this? Social workers report, on which someone has written in block capitals, NOT YET I THINK. Ive collected a lot of names along the way and almost everyone I asked said they would come if they possibly could, he says. Just before Christmas in 1983 the 16-year-old "Norman Greenwood" discovered his real name and Ethiopian roots in his birth certificate and some letters from a social worker. Lemn Sissay, My Name Is Why. Now he works as a theatre-maker working with young and emerging artists, many of whom are also care-experienced. My care experience was lifesaving, says Antiques Roadshow expert Ronnie Archer-Morgan, who recently published a memoir called Would It Surprise You to Know?. Its a mixture of stigma and admiration, says Martin Figura of attitudes towards people in care. As much as you read this book and are in shock (or not) at how this young black child was dragged through a problematic system and feel angry at the injustices he has faced, you can't . Lemn Sissay was seventeen when he wrote his first poetry book, which he hand-sold to the miners and mill workers of Wigan. A social worker placed Lemn with white Christian foster parents, David and Catherine Greenwood, who lived in Ashton-in-Makerfield. Interspersing readings from his new collectionGold from the Stonewith moving and raw recollections of his childhood, Lemn transfixed the audience. I know from reading the very brief information I have on my birth parents that my natural mother wanted me to have a better life than she could give me, he says. I hadnt realised then but none of them would contact me ever again for the rest of my life. Lemn Sissay, poet, performer and chancellor at the University of Manchester, was born in Billings Hospital near St Margaret's House for pregnant unmarried girls and women in Wigan, Greater. She is also a trustee of the charity Pure Insight, which supports young people to have a better care-leaving experience than she did herself. He learned that his real name was not Norman. I was left in care and it felt like their intention was that Id work out it was my fault. Just me. And he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe return to her since his birth. I know so many care-experienced people whove had that further experience of being homeless, being a rough sleeper, living in hostels, sofa-surfing, all that kind of stuff.. His mother was a student at the time of his birth who had come from Ethiopia to study in Bracknell City, England. This is the story of being stolen by the state and his 17 years in local authority care. Nature holds memory. Mum had always said that love was never in question. But its a bit of a B-movie of an existence. I found my birth father very quickly, because he was an actor, Louis Mahoney, who was a big activist for Black, Asian and ethnic minority rights in the actors union Equity, she says. Why - and the search for the answer to why - became the word that defined Lemn . My experience has taught me the importance of having kind, supportive adults in the lives of children in care to help them feel safe, cared for and treated like one of the family, she says. He made me realise that it could be a strength not a hindrance. Shes now a patron of the Bolton charity Backup North West which helped her get her first flat when she was 17. He received his MBE in 2010. You felt like you had to grow up too fast., The issues around growing up in care dont magically stop at 25, just because public policy stops, says Jim Goddard, who went into care in Liverpool aged three. And he learned that his mother had been pleading for his safe . He has been made an Honorary Doctor by the universities of Manchester, Kent, Essex, Huddersfield and Brunel, and in 2019 . I was a very challenging and complex young person. His memoir about that time, Fifty-One Moves, is now taught at universities and Ashcroft is a founding member of the campaign group Every Child Leaving Care Matters. The level of invisibility of the issues facing young people leaving care has not fundamentally altered in the past 20 years., Theres still a very clear judgment passed when people hear you say, I was in care, says Akiya Henry. My brother Christopher was eight. The view of care leavers is typically: unable to achieve a higher education, expected to fail in life, says Michelle Brown, who went into care at 11 and was hugely let down by her local authorities she was left on the streets aged 15 after one of her foster carers relocated. Adopted as a baby, Jeanette Winterson grew up in a strict Pentecostalist family in Lancashire. Being adopted is definitely something that puts a mark on you, says fashion and portrait photographer Philip Sinden. Thank you to Jude Kelly, and John McGrath. I felt important. In. Other weird things started to happen. We had the same rivalry most brothers have. He is in two minds about searching for his birth parents. I was excited because the family meeting was just me and Mum and Dad. He advocates for children in the local authority's care and is involved in organisations concerning their welfare. It felt affectionate then, but later I realised something wasnt right. In prison I became an avid reader, he says an experience that paved the way for his career as a novelist. He learned that his real name was not Norman. The installation, Superman Is a Foundling, is another of Sissays initiatives, drawing attention to the ubiquity of the orphan in popular culture, and it momentarily shocks the poet and performer Luke Wright to find his own history reflected in a literary trope. Mrs Greenwood does not think of the London Olympics in 2012 bad in other,. In Germany baby gets any less love from their parents than a child, returned there for a 1995.... 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